Pivoting is a new sitcom that follows the lives of 3 women and childhood friends in the wake of the loss of the 4th member of their group. Contemplating their friend’s death, the meaning of life, and their own life, each woman, at the age of 40 and set in their lives, decides to make a pivot. Each episode highlights the challenges and celebrations of these 3 women’s decisions.
One of the most beneficial ways we can use the Enneagram is to learn from and lean into our Enneagram type’s “opposites” — or what I call our Rich and Relax types. When an Enneagram type learns to let go of their type’s ego-fixation and learn from and lean into their type’s Rich and Relax types, life gets better — life gets richer and/or more relaxed.
In Pivoting, we are given a look into the life of an Enneagram 1, 2, and 4 who decide, albeit a bit irrationally, to lean into their Rich or Relax type. If you’re one of these types, here’s what you can learn to do and not to do. If you’re not one of these types, you likely know one and will have to eventually walk with them, through grief and through a life pivot. By mentally preparing for this, you can better help them when that time comes.
Sarah the Perfectionistic Surgeon (Pivoting from an Enneagram 1 to an Enneagram 7)
Upon her contemplation of life, Sarah realizes that she wants more fun in life. She sees the grocery store employees smiling, dancing, and laughing, and she thinks, “I want to experience that too.” So, Sarah’s pivoting becomes quitting her job, applying to work at the store and ultimately working at the store.
One of Sarah’s first challenges at work is that she is too good of an employee. So good, in fact, that she makes all the other employees look bad to management and, as a result, makes her the target of workplace bullying. To survive and fit in, Sarah has to learn to not work as hard and to leave early without permission. Sarah, like all Ones, is learning that being a perfectionist doesn’t always serve a person in life. Sometimes if not often, people do not like perfectionists. Sarah, in her pivot, is experiencing the challenges of shifting from a One to a Seven— from the Perfectionist to the Enthusiast.
Ones – What’s something you can do to incorporate some fun into your life?
Related: Ode to Joy Analysis: What Ones and Sevens Can Learn From Each Other
Jodie the All-Giving House Mom (Pivoting from an Enneagram 2 to an Enneagram 8)
Upon her reflection, Jodie decides that she will take control of her life and do what she wants. So, Jodie gets a personal trainer at the local gym. However, Jodie’s trainer is a rather attractive young man— and what starts as a harmless attraction slowly evolves into an affair.
In her story, Jodie learns that even if it’s putting one’s self first, pivoting is hard. There’s the self-consciousness she has towards her body. There’s mixing up texts and sending dirty texts to her husband rather than her new lover. And then there’s the fear and danger of getting caught— by Sarah, whose ex cheated on her while they were married, by her husband, and by her lover’s mom.
Twos- How can you prioritize yourself this week?
Amy the Self-Centered Work Mom (Pivoting from an Enneagram 4 to an Enneagram 2)
Upon her contemplation, Amy decides she wants to spend more time with her kids. Amy is a successful TV morning cook show host and gets off early in the afternoon every day. However, Amy has always left her children with a sitter and comes homes at the end of the day when they are washed, fed, and tired. New Amy, however, is going to come home, pretend to be a dinosaur with her son, and pick up her kids from school.
Amy, however, soon realizes that being a mom is hard. She learns that she can’t express herself thoroughly as she usually does and wants to. She can’t swear and say whatever she wants when she gets angry driving. Amy is learning that to be a better mother means sacrifice. She is experiencing what all Fours must experience, the shift from a Four to Two— from the Individualist to the Giver.
Fours – What might you have to sacrifice for those you love?
Related: Bad Moms and the Enneagram One: How Bad Can Be Good
Don’t let grief and loss be the reason for your next life pivot.
Although Pivoting is a fictional story and sitcom, it is a story about the human condition. Pivoting so far has a 100% freshness score on Rotten Tomatoes. Why? Because I think it beautifully and humorously captures the part in all of us that knows that life can never be lived in just one way. That all of us, at some point, must pivot.
Pivoting is not easy, however—not in the slightest. Letting go of our identity, letting go of our comfort, letting go of our lives comes with risk and, almost inevitably, a cost. Letting go of how we have lived our entire lives is hard work. And there will bound to be mistakes. However, Sarah didn’t have to necessarily quit her job to have fun, and Jodie didn’t have to have an affair. Sarah could have tried to go part-time or find a less demanding job. Jodie could have simply tried to spice up her sex life with her husband. But this is what happens when we ignore ourselves for too long— when we focus and fixate on only one way of life.
If we can acknowledge and own the pivots we must make in our individual lives and approach them slowly and wisely, we can avoid harming and hurting those we love — and ourselves. Don’t let something like loss and grief be the primary catalyst to your life reflection and to your pivot.
Questions for Reflection
If you know enough about the Enneagram, or simply about life, you know that there is no single pivot that we can make to complete our lives. Life is a series of pivots in all sorts of directions.
So, do you know what your next pivot must be? What do you have to change in your life to experience more life? And what small steps can you take so you don’t hurt yourself or others in the process?
Who do you need to show more compassion to who may be stumbling through a life pivot?
Want to work at making a pivot in your life without derailing, changing, or ruining everything— in small steps with someone safe and who you trust? If your answer is yes, I’d love to chat and explore working together to pivot to a better you and life. Simply write me at hello@ryanlui.com to get started.
