Although I’ve always enjoyed the slapstick, get stupid and do stupid things kind of movie, Bad Moms was a delightful surprise. What I thought would be 90 minutes of absurdity was actually an insightful, endearing, and encouraging story for all of us that feel forced to be perfect. It is a reminder to every “bad mom,” Enneagram 1, and anyone who feels at times imperfect, that being bad is okay, and how being bad can even be good.
Plot
Background
Bad Moms stars Mila Kunis as the perfect/good mom. She…
- drives the kids to school, to soccer practice, to Mandarin class
- she makes them different lunches
- does their science project
- works part-time (likely underpaid and overworked)
- buys the groceries
- makes all the meals
And although it may seem like it, she is not a single mom.
About a third way into the story, Mila Kunis makes friends with two other stressed-out moms (like there is another kind) and begins to experience for the first time freedom.
- She starts to go out, drink too much
- Tells her kids to make their own cereal and breakfast
- Gives the kids Arby’s for lunch
- Takes her daughter for a spa day on a school day
After discovering her husband had been cheating on her for the last 10 months, she kicks him out. But when she finds out he is staying with the woman she has been cheating with, she goes out with her friends to meet a man. And meet a man she does.
However, Mila Kunis’ newfound freedom to not always have to be the perfect mom starts to rub the wrong shoulders of the few influential and powerful moms. This ultimately leads to gossip and ultimately her daughter being put to the bench on the soccer team.
To fight back, Mila decides to run for PTA president. However, Christina Applegate, the current PTA president and mean mom, frames Mila’s daughter’s locker by planting weed in her locker and getting her kicked off the soccer team. Ultimately, Mila Kunis, who for a moment seemed to be the front runner, the perfect and fun mom, is framed as an untrustworthy and irresponsible “bad mom.”
Climax: Bad Can Be Good
At the PTA presidential election, Mila is in front of all 400 parents on the PTA. And in her speech, Mina, in essence, says,
“Yes, I am a bad mom. I don’t know what I’m doing. One day my children want this; the next day, they want that. I just can’t keep up with them. There are the lunches I have to make every day and the countless places to take them to. And I have to do everything. Being a good mom is impossible. So yes, I am a bad mom.”
As she finishes her speech, the crowd stands in applause, and Mila wins the election.
Analysis of Bad Moms and the Enneagram One
What I love so much about this story, and especially the title, is that “bad” is not necessarily “bad.” That being bad can be good.
Something that likely our entire culture struggles with, but especially Enneagram 1s and people eigh a high One, is the equating of imperfect to bad. If someone or something is imperfect, then they are flawed. That one is either perfect and good or imperfect and bad.
What this story reminds us, however, is that we all are imperfect. That there is no such thing as perfect. That perfect is impossible. And when we can admit our imperfections, admit our “badness,” only then can we truly be “good.”
As we discover, being “bad” isn’t all that bad. The son, who had to heaven forbid make his own cereal, learned to bake a frittata. And could any wrong really come from some mother/daughter time at the spa on a school day?
Sometimes, being “bad,” doing the “wrong” thing, is actually being good and doing the right thing.
The Road to a Rich Life Through The Enneagram Four
In the Enneagram, the Road to a Rich Life, for the Enneagram One, is the Enneagram Four.
When Ones can be honest, be vulnerable, be authentic, and be open with their weaknesses, like the Four does well/naturally, Ones begin to experience the fruits of such a life. They experience a “richer” life that they would never experience when always striving to be perfect or constantly maintaining the perfect veneer. Although being “perfect” has its perks, it only goes so far. As we see by the end, Mila Kunis’ mean mom rival breaks down crying as her life is in reality in shambles.
The Road to a Relaxed Life Through The Enneagram One
And in the Enneagram, the Road to a Relaxed life is the Enneagram Seven.
When Mila Kunis and other Ones or high Ones can learn to embrace spontaneity and fun, doing things for them and their happiness, they experience a less stressed and more relaxed life. When they can let go of some of their responsibilities, such as making cereal for their children and once in a while, skip their responsibilities and take their kid to the spa, they begin to realize that,
1) the world does not come down or fall apart
2) life is better
3) people might take responsibility of their own life and grow
Encouragement for Bad Moms and the Enneagram One
For every One reading this or anyone with a high One in them, may you find the courage and strength to be honest with yourself, to admit and embrace your imperfections, and to give yourself an allowance to break the rules at times. To be a “bad” whatever or to simply be bad.
And for anyone who has a One in their life, a “perfect” mom, give them allowance if not encourage them to be “bad.”
