If I can be honest and a bit vulnerable for a moment, I am scared of a lot of things. I’m scared of roller coasters, driving alone in a foreign place, small circles, and clowns, to name just a few.
Fear is something I’ve lived with all my life and will likely have to for the rest of it. As a Four, I’m afraid of being alone and being insignificant. Maybe my greatest fear in the world is that no one will show up to my funeral or no one will have anything good to say. Often when I have a good moment with a friend, I consciously think, “I hope they remember this moment and will mention it if I die soon.
For whatever reason, we do not live in a society/culture that doesn’t encourage the acknowledgment of fear. We try to hide it, ignore it, and even sometimes shame it.
Fear is not good. Fear is bad. And fear should not exist.
This has made Covid, at least where I am in the social circles that I am a part of, difficult to talk about. Listening to each other, particularly about each other’s fears without judgment or condemnation is no easy task today.
One of the things I really appreciate about the Enneagram is that it recognizes or teaches that every personality type has a fear. No matter who you are, no matter what your personality type, you are afraid of something. And all these fears are both understandable and equal.
The 9 Fears of the Enneagram
The 9 fears of the Enneagram are being…
- Bad or wrong
- Unloved or without a relationship
- A loser or without achievement
- Insignificant or without meaning
- Ignorant or without a reasonable knowledge
- Endangered or without security
- Unhappy or without stimulating experiences
- Controlled or without autonomy
- Conflicted or without harmony
If we can be honest with ourselves, which is what the Enneagram can help us do, we can admit that so much of our life has been driven by our fear(s). That part of the human experience, part of what it means to be human, is to be a being motivated by fear.
This is not to say that fear is good, but rather that fear is natural and something we shouldn’t be at all worried about talking about. We all have fears and we are all in some way impacted and motivated by them. We are human after all.
Understanding and Empathy as the Key to Peace
As helpful as understanding one’s own Enneagram type is, overcoming one’s ego, and achieving something better, it is important to understand and empathize with, every other Enneagram type as well.
By understanding and empathizing with each type’s basic fear, we can have more compassion for and more dialogue with others. And can’t our world do with a little more compassion and a little more dialogue?
Remember, the Enneagram is never meant to be used to stereotype or judge. It is a tool for understanding, empathy, compassion, and connection.
Fear and Covid
Although this has been said before, we are living in unprecedented times. Not only with the coronavirus itself but all the relational/political challenges that are not coming up in light of it.
There will be tough times ahead.
By recognizing the different fears we all have, hopefully, the next time we enter into a “conversation” with someone about Covid and all the touchy subjects around it, we can enter it with a bit more understanding, a bit more empathy, and ultimately a bit more grace.
We have enough wars in the world, I think we can all try our best to pursue peace in whatever way we can. In our families, our friendships, our communities, and our country.
What’s Coming Up
In the weeks ahead, I will be diving into each Enneagram type: their fear, some of their traits, and why each type can be either provax or antivax.
This is not meant to convince anyone of anything, but hopefully create a bit of understanding, a bit of empathy for whatever “side” you are not on.
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