What would you say is the one defining attribute of a leader? If you could answer that, wouldn’t you know how to be a better leader? And if you knew that, wouldn’t you be able to be, a better leader?
Although those are certainly necessary, I would argue that the defining attribute of a great leader is humility.
- Leadership Guru John Maxwell often says that beyond power and authority, people follow people because of their character.
- Simon Sinek, author and leadership expert argues the greatest leaders “eat last.”
- Adam Grant, author and business professor says true success comes from a mutual interdependent relationship of “give and take.”
This is not to say that influence, followers and results are not important or even definitive of good leadership. It is simply to say, humility is the defining and foundational one.
What is humility?
Humility is not thinking of yourself as less but thinking of yourself less often. It is thinking of yourself less, and thinking of others more.
It is very much like selflessness.
[share-quote via=”ryanlui”]Humility is not thinking of yourself as less but thinking of yourself less often. It is thinking of yourself less, and thinking of others more.[/share-quote]
What do humble and great leaders do?
When you think of someone who is humble, who do you think of?
I think of my friend and prominent member of my community named Darrell Johnson. He is over 70, has a phd, a professor, an amazing public speaker, and basically the kindest, most greatest human being you could meet.
When I think of Darrell, there are 3 things that most naturally and noticeably stand out. Here is what great leaders and humble people do:
Look
Great leaders look at people. They look them in the eye and with just their gaze, tells the person they have worth and significance.
We don’t get a lot of eye contact. Post-pandemic, nearly nothing.
To be looked at in the eye is to be acknowledged and seen.
Having worked with local and global leaders in poverty relief, one of the simplest and greatest gifts “normal” people can give someone on the streets is eye contact. Acknowledgement.
You would be surprised how dehumanzing it is and feels to have person after person ignore you and look the other way.
If you want to grow in humility and become a greater leader, look at people.
Listen
It is said that to listen is to love.
We are so deprived of a listening ear that the most loving thing someone can do for us is to simply listen— without interupption and advice.
When someone is seen and heard, they feel loved, valued, significant.
Want to be a better leader and have people folllow you? Just look at them and listen to them.
Sounds easy? Try to not interject, give your opinion, or even think about what you will say in response when you are “allowed.” Give your full attention.
Great leaders seek to know and understand the people they work with and for. They genuinely want to know how to be more effective in their contribution.
Learn
Lastly, great leaders learn.
Grandma and grandpa can look at you and listen to you well, but great leaders learn from what they hear.
Great leaders take the stories, experiences and opinions of people and respond. They recognize how they may not be as effective as a leader as they thought they were and change how they live and lead.
When you look, listen and learn from other people, you will not only be more effective in leading, but you will naturally have more wanting to follw you.
Reflective question:
When was the last time someone looked, listened and learned from you? What was that like?
